Sunday 10 April 2016

Admitting To My Secret Sugar Eating Behaviour

I need to hold my hands up, I am a secret eater. Well, I say secret, but that might not be true, I am a constant sugar craving addict, and as with all addicts, even if you think you're hiding it, you're probably not. I was having a conversation with some friends the other day and we were wetting ourselves over the lengths we go to, just to get a sugar fix. So in the sense of full disclosure, I thought I'd share some with you. 

Have you ever just got that craving? That craving for something so bad, any logic goes out the window? Like when you're already making food, a nice healthy meal which you're cooking just for you, or your partner, but because nobodies looking, you go the the fridge, open the bar that's in there and have a square, or two, or a whole line, just to keep it neat of course? Well that's pretty much me on a daily basis. If its in my house, I'm eating it, and I think one of the main reasons is I'm not very good at saving food. Or sweets and chocolates in particular. I should point out here, this post is all about chocolate and sweets. I don't have a savoury tooth. I can go, and probably do, months at a time without crisps or fizzy drinks. They don't even enter my equation, but show me some form of sugary sweet treat and I'm on it like it's my last meal. 

Yep, my idea of heaven! I don't even think I'd get sick of eating them!
The worst secret eating binge I went on had was actually last year. This one is my most shameful moments, but one that everyone I tell finds hilarious and holds up as a mirror to their own habits, as nothing is really as bad as this. I'll set the scene. I'm home alone, it's a Saturday night say and I get that pang of 'something sweet would be just what I need right now'. Then I remember that Dan and I bought some ice-cream the weekend before, but we'd been too full to really enjoy it, so put it back in the freezer with maybe just over quarter of it eaten. Perfect! I go to the freezer, pul out the ice-cream and put it in the microwave for a few seconds, as you do, because who has patience to let it defrost naturally?? And then I sat gleefully on the sofa, enjoying my small spoonfuls, but knowing I couldn't eat too much or Dan might notice. Fast forward time and I've eaten the whole thing. Three quarters of a tub, all to myself. I feel sick, bloated and so guilty. But I know one things for sure, I'm not telling Dan. So instead, I run down to the shops, buy another one, then come back, and as if it's my mission in life to rectify, force more of the ice-cream into my mouth so that I can put it back into the freezer, giving the impression it had never even been touched. Genius! And the next evening when Dan suggested getting out some ice-cream, expecting me to say I'd eaten it all and shocked when I agreed, I gave myself a secret little pat not he back, my plan had worked.  Still though, talk about going to all that effort just to hide that you had an over indulgent binge - that's serious. 

When someone asks ''Do you wanna share?' Er hell no! I've gotta do this on my own!
When I was discussing this topic with my friends, yes believe me i'm not the only one in this club, we also animatedly agreed on how annoyed we get when we're trying to have a sneaky 'one more', just before bed, or before we have to share with others, and the person you're hiding it from asks you a question and interrupts you mid mouthful. The amount of times I've hidden the offending cookie, or chocolate behind the door frame when Dan's asked me something, just as I'm scoffing my face is endless, and one time I even licked the wall because he kept me chatting so long, it had melted chocolate on it (it must have been a hot day), but seriously....I licked the wall to hide the evidence. 

Trying to sneak a corner of a cheesecake brownie when you're being disturbed - not good!
It's not all about hiding the evidence at home either, one of my girls admits to hiding the evidence from her work colleagues. She's the secret rustler, always bending down into her bag to get a bit of whatever she doesn't want her colleagues to know about and then 'discreetly' popping it into her mouth. All fine in principle, but we all know the rustling sound of crisps, biscuit or chocolate wrappers, it's like everyones ears prick up and there's nothing worse when people then start looking for the offender themselves. 

Oh gawd, the politics of it all. The fact we probably all secret binge is also hilarious to me. I know there are programmes on TV etc, and it's brilliant to see the lengths some people go to, but the truth is, if we're embarrassed about eating, that's where the problem lies. We clearly think we're doing something wrong, overindulging or whatever. So I plan to put a stop to it. No more secret eating, no more hiding it just in case, I'm either going to own it, and you may see me stuffing my face all day long, toughing on everything in sight, or I will give some of it up, just like I did with fizzy drinks back in the day. Chances are, it will fluctuate between the two, but either way, I'm admitting to my problem and taking it out the closet. My names Nicki and I am a secret eater no more. 


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